Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think your dad took our porno
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
