No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
