He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
whose ass print is on the piano?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
