fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
