She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
