Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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