dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
