screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
