At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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