Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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