Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize