my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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