So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
