tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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