I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
