I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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