Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
