During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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