SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize