Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
