I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
