Christians are straight up FREAKS
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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