please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
