guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
