What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
