it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
