Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience