we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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