what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Two words: nipple clamps
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