Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?