Who did Billy Mays play for?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?