i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You've changed since you got that strap on
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
