I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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