Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
