What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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