Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
