Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
