I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
