i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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