I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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