Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
