it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
People with herpes should wear stickers.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
