I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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