Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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