In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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