its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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