i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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