i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she woke up with a sticky ear
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
