u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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