One girl and one boy is just not enough.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
