When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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