Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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