Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
