4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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